What sort of toxic event do you have in your past? We all have one or more toxic events in our past that keep us stuck in negative emotions like anger, sadness, shock or grief. By practising these very simple steps you can cut the emotional ties that bind you to those events so that they become a harmless memory, rather than reliving a trauma you want to forget.
Toxic Events in Our History.
We all have them. A negative event in our personal history can be anything from a physical injury or illness, to an emotional car crash of a relationship, or childhood abuse or neglect. Some of those events seem hang on very tight to our emotions and affect the way we behave today. Sometimes we are the one hanging on to a toxic event or person from our past so that they are still poisoning our life. There is no way we can go back and change history, so how can we remove the sting, hurt and damage from the here and now?
6 simple words
“I am willing to forgive you.”
Yes I know, it sounds a bit hokey and you might be thinking “Yeah, whatever. I am never going to forgive that arsehole. What happened was evil and wrong, and no amount of forgiving will change that!” And you are absolutely right! But bear with me for just a couple more paragraphs.
Saying those six little words to the memory of whatever or whoever in your past is making you angry or anguished now, in your present day life, won’t release them from their wrongdoing. In no way are we condoning the bad behaviour of another person (or even your own bad behaviour if that is your regret). That person won’t even know that you’re saying it. But it will release you from the emotional ties to the past which are holding you back. Those emotional ties are like chains, holding you tightly to that person in your past. These chains are binding you to that point in your past that you would give anything to escape. This is preventing you from living your best life now.
Give yourself a safe and quiet space for a few minutes. Cast your mind back to the event or person who is still haunting you today. Picture it clearly in your mind. Say to yourself “I am willing to forgive you.” Repeat as often as you are able, or as often as you feel you need to.
And now you can escape.
You don’t need to say that you do forgive. You start to break those chains just by saying you are willing to forgive. By being willing to forgive a damaging person or event in your past, you give yourself the freedom and space to move on. It’s not something you are doing for them. It is a gift you are giving yourself. You are granting yourself release from the prison of the past. You are the one who will benefit, not the person that did you wrong.
And isn’t it the best revenge to live your life as completely and happily as possible? Now you can. By letting go and denying the power that the memory of a toxic event or person has over you, you are free and powerful in your own right. That memory is not your reality now, it is a memory. Send it to the memory storage where it belongs and live your life free from the hurt and pain.
Being willing to forgive gives you your power back.
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At Penrith Counselling women are supported and nurtured by strengths based holistic counselling and Reiki energy healing. Click here for more information.
