If aspects of your childhood were hurtful or damaging you might find that rescuing your wounded inner child can resolve many issues impacting on you now as a adult.

The cry we hear from deep in our hearts, comes from the wounded child within. Healing this inner child’s pain will transform negative emotions.

By Thich Nhat Hanh | April 5, 2011

So who is your wounded “inner child”?

This answer is different for everybody. Your tender, developing mind and heart might have felt impacts of abandonment or abuse at any age. And within your personality, aspects of that wounded child will have become ‘stuck’ in that moment of development. As the years have gone by she will have been covered over with layers of denial, neglect, blame or guilt. But even smothered as she is under all those crusty layers, she will still be dictating how you form emotional attachments, how you deal with stress, and even your parenting style. You could even find that you are repeating the hurtful patterns that got her stuck in the first place. 

How do you find your wounded inner child?

You may know with complete clarity when and how you were wounded as a child. Were you emotionally neglected by your care givers, or did you suffer through more direct forms of abuse? The damage might be hidden in the mists of time and denial, only to show itself as fear, anger, self-medicating (with food, alcohol, drugs or sex), unhealthy relationships, or other forms of self-harm in your adult waking life. If you feel that your current behaviours and reactions could be based on this type of denied hurt, then the best way to reconnect with your hurt inner child is through mindfulness and meditation.

Depending upon the severity of harm you experienced as a child you may need some professional support and help during this exploration.

How to rescue your inner child.

Your inner child, no matter what forms of abuse were suffered, needs a friend, a safe ally, and a loving, protective parent. Now that you are the grown-up, you can be the loving and protective parent for your inner child. A wounded inner child will be angry at the abuse, but also feel shamed for what was done to her. She will feel that she is forever unworthy of love and protection, unworthy of validation.

You can give your inner child the love and protection that she needs to heal.

Give yourself a safe, uninterrupted space where you can sit comfortably. Relax your breathing and allow yourself to sink into your mind, down through the layers of time. When you arrive at a time where you were been wounded as a child give yourself time to pause. Look at the child you were, a perfect little being who is still now trying to protect herself (and you) from harm the only way she knows how. Whether that’s through anger, or turning away, or hiding. She may even try and push you away. Love her; love her with all your might and compassion. Hold her on your knee, imagine that you are loving, consoling and validating the child you were then.

In some cases, the wounded inner child may be so angry at herself that she has created a prison of darkness and ugliness for herself. In your mind bring her to a safe place that is bright and friendly. For example, imagine a cozy room that has an amazing view, lots of age appropriate amusements and above all safety, love and compassion.

You inner wounded child is part of your waking adult self.

By treasuring her and giving her safety you are giving your adult self permission to leave the hurt behind and move forward with renewed love and compassion.

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At Penrith Counselling women are supported and nurtured by strengths based holistic counselling and Reiki energy healing. Click here for more information. You’re worth it  

Alison Howarth is a member of the Australian Counselling Association.